I just made out with a guy for $7.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
