So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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