Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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