No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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