No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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