Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
