even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
