we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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