just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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