Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
