i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
