yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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