So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so that wasnt chicken after all
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I intend to get homeless drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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