you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
