You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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