That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
