But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
