are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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