omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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