I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
