The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
