The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
