I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize