he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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