if you like me you must not know who I am
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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