Me too!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
