I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
