thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize