Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
