So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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