just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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