so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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