I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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