and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
