i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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