I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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