morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need water and some morals
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
