so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
