The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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