The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
