She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
