So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
