I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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