Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Congratulations! We have a period
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