Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
