Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize