he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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