There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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