i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
love makes seman taste better
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
