Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
