I only kidnapped one of them. chill
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
