the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
