I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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