Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
