Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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