Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The Olympian is in my bed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize