We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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