i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
