the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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